Beginnings

I learned from my good friend, Gae, that you can never have a new beginning without loss.

This week I move into my new home. I have rented for five years following my divorce, so this is a pretty exciting time for me. Still, I am aware of the loss of what I currently have.

For one, my rental property affords me the pleasure of hearing the ocean as I write this. My budget does not allow me to purchase such a place (although I can still hear a faint rumbling from several blocks away.)

It made me think of all of the things I will lose by leaving. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to leave. It just means I acknowledge what I have lost. I lost a place that was the first place that I consciously and deliberately chose to move into after my marriage. I lost a place where I got to know my niece while she lived with me for a short time, and a place I got to know a sweetheart for a shorter time. I lost a place where my daughter told me she wanted to move in with me.

All of those things I grieve. I mourn for the things I have lost. As I mourn I look forward to the new adventures that await me.

This makes me happy.