Impatient with the Pleasantries.

Patience is a virtue, and I am not a virtuous man. I'm feeling like a bit of a jackass today, so I thought I would blog about some things that cause my patience to wear thin.

Responding in kind



If I say you look nice you don't need to say "Thanks so do you." I may actually retract my compliment in said situation.


Small talk



I would rather rack myself than sit and listen to mind numbing chit chat. The weather is fine. Your children are lovely. Can I get a drink over here?


Parrot politics



Just because you can repeat what Sean Hannity or John Stewart told you last night does not make you smart or insightful. Talking louder when I ask you to explain your position is not a strong debate tactic either.


Inserting "Don't get a big head" before or after a compliment



C'mon guys. First of all, it's a little arrogant and presumptuous to assume that I might get a big head based on something you would say to me. I feel insulted that anyone would think that someone's opinion would have that kind of effect. Secondly, my head is as big as it's going to get. I have a fairly healthy self-image already.


Insecurity



I pity people who aren't secure with themselves. I really do. That doesn't mean I'm willing to have a conversation with them that consists of me constantly saying "You're not old. You're not stupid. You're not pitiful." These things may or may not be true, but why would it matter what I think? Be happy with what the big guy gave you! Some have more, some have less.

There you have it folks. Just another installment in "How can the world better adapt to meet my needs." Tune in next week when we discuss "The correlation between curly hair and intelligence: Can you afford to go straight?"