The Karmic Ladder

My kids finally talked me into adopting a dog last weekend. We managed to find a sweetheart at the Humane Society who has integrated seamlessly with our family. After observing her for a week or so, though, I have come to the conclusion that Dogs really are a higher species than humans.

Well, maybe not higher, but definitely older.

If you believe in reincarnation you may think that humans are one of the final stages. I just don’t see it. Here is my breakdown on the path to spiritual enlightenment based on absolutely no facts, research, or logic.

Human Being

This has got to be the first step in the evolutionary chain. Let’s look at the things us folk spend our lives seeking to accomplish: corner offices, five minutes of fame, being “the best”, securing our place in the afterlife. I refuse to believe that after multiple lifetimes we keep doing this kind of shit.

Ant

I always have felt a kindredness with ants. They run and scurry and build up massive ephemeral societies. The nice thing about ants is their complex societies don’t damage everyone else’s quality of life.

Dog

After we learn enough to recognize the absurdity of a complex society we must come back as dogs. They like to spend time with people, sometimes act like humans, and often seem amused at our antics. I believe they’re thinking “Did I really used to act like that?”

Cat

Dogs may be intrigued by us, but cats are just bored with us. I always feel a little inadequate around them.

Monkey

I don’t know why monkeys come next. I just love mentioning them whenever possible.

Elephant

Elephants have to rank pretty high on the karmic chain. They could just stomp most other species, but they usually seem pretty patient with us bottom feeders. Plus I once saw a video of one painting a self-portrait.

Water

Okay, I admit I don’t really know the final stage of reincarnation or how it actually happens. Hey, can you blame me? I’m just a lowly human starting out on my journey. I’m guessing once we get finished with the hustle and the bustle of all of these lifetimes we finally join with Rodney King in saying “Why can’t we all just get along?”

At this point we come back as a water molecule and float around in the oceans, rivers, and streams watching the lower life forms struggle. Those Taoists are always making insightful observations about water too. Some business about water always assuming the lowest position yet sculpting canyons out of stone.

I haven’t really had time to look into to it very much. I have a corner office to work towards you know.