It’s Halloween again, and I have to say I sort of like this holiday. You don’t have to buy gifts for one thing. Sure you have to buy candy, but I keep the good stuff anyway. The trick-or-treaters get candy corns. I hold on to the sweet tarts. Suckers.
As I was preparing for my Halloween hijinx, I started thinking about all the ghosts and ghouls I might encounter tonight. They don’t scare me, though. Here are a few things that really scare me!
Clowns
I think it all started with Pennywise the Clown in Stephen King’s “IT”. They all float down here! You’ll float too.
Extra Nipples
If you have never seen an extra nipple live and up close you should thank God every day. I still get chills.
Ventriloquist Dummies
They’re sneaky. You can’t trust them. I’m afraid he’s going to jump off the stage and go postal. They’re not near as helpless as they want us to think.
Cats
You know they can steal your soul. I get along with them, but I keep my eye on them too. You never know when our fragile alliance with them will buckle.
Senior Citizens
I love senior citizens, but sometimes I think they’re plotting against us young folk. I also think one of them once tripped me with his cane. He claimed it was an “accident”. Right.
Geese
I don’t know why I’m afraid of geese, but they terrify me. I had a dream about a goose with an electrical shocking bill. Talk about getting goosed!
So have a good time this all hallows eve. Don’t worry about all the spooky creatures out there tonight. They won’t bother you, but watch out for those damn geese.
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