I caused the financial crisis!

I have something that I need to get off my chest. You’ve heard lots of explanations for how we got into this financial crisis. Subprime mortgages, credit default swaps, housing bubbles, blah, blah, blah.

It was me. I caused the financial crisis.

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How did I cause the financial crisis you might ask? Here’s the deal. Banks kept giving me money, and trust me I know how to spend money. Not only did they give me money, but they didn’t even ask a whole lot of questions about how I was going to manage to pay it back.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I need supervision. I can dream up all kinds of cool stuff, but I have to be reigned in from time to time. I have been known to put together vast and elegant solutions that are wholly impractical.

So there you have it. It was me. I did it, and you’d better watch out...because I’ll do it again.