They are not all morons

Sorry guys, but I have to say it. Just because you do not agree with someone does not make them a moron.

I heard it about George W. Bush. I disagreed.

I heard it about John Kerry. I disagreed.

I heard it about Barack Obama. I disagreed.

Now, I hear it about Joe Biden, Paul Ryan, and Mitt Romney. I respectfully disagree.

While I wholeheartedly disagree with many policy decisions of each of these men, I cringe when I hear them called morons, idiots, and fools. They are not. They are highly educated and ambitious men with whom you disagree. You may be right. You may be wrong. But to characterize the men as “morons” does a great disservice to our process.

If these are educated men with whom we disagree then we can have a dialog. If they are idiots we just throw up our hands.

It is more easy (and more lazy) for us to brand them as dumb and move on. If you do not agree with the policies of a politician then please speak up. Explain your position. Explain why your position is justified. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut. Calling a person who has achieved a great honor “stupid” is…well…stupid.


P.S.  Sarah Palin is still a moron :)

Dear Mad Man: Do the rules of etiquette apply to the new social media?

Dear Mad Man,

I have enjoyed the rise of social media over the last few years, and I love being able to easily connect with family and friends.  I also enjoy sharing articles, photos, and funny quotes with my friends as well as viewing my friends posts.  Recently though, I have noticed a disturbing trend while reading the social media sites.  Political and religious opinions seem to dominate my newsfeed.  I always thought that politics and religion were off limits in social circles.  Have the rules changed with the new media?

Sincerely,

Politically private

Dear Politically private,

Thanks for writing.  I was in the middle of watching Kony 2012 while eating a Chik-fil-a sandwich (Don't worry. I didn't swallow) when I saw your letter.  I too have noticed the trend of which you speak; although, I am torn as to what I should make of it.  On one hand, the rules of politeness and etiquette should surely apply in electronic social interaction just as in the old fashioned kind.  On the other, being exposed to diverse opinion and rhetoric is never a bad thing.  After all, we could alter our position after a thoughtful discussion of the merits of the opposing viewpoints...right?

From Drop Box

Rather than either advocating cage-match style tweeting or throwing the baby out with the bath water, I propose a compromise ala Rodney King.  To wit, I have developed a set of rules, nay, a code of coduct that, if followed, will ensure a healthy dose of expression without the crude aftertaste.

Be thoughtful

Normally I am not one to advocate tempering of words.  My ramblings do come with a disclosure, and I have been known to offend my fair share.  Thinking about how your message will be received and whether it achieves the desired effect will help win friends and influence people.

Be positive

You have an opinion.  We get it.  Expressing it in a positive way encourages others to consider its merits, while also keeping you looking classy.

Bring something to the table

If all you can post is a trite one-liner affirming your adherance to or abhorance of a particular issue, maybe you (and others) would be better served by not posting at all.  Instead try posting a link to an article discussing a particular nuance of the issue that you think others might find interesting.

Listen to your mother

You know she is always right (except for her views on stem-cell research.  I mean how backward can she be?)  When a friend posts something that you think is patently absurd, follow her advice.  If you don't have anything nice to say it is almost always better to say nothing at all.

It’s not what you do

Everyone needs to feel valued.  Everyone needs to feel like their contributions to the world are important.

I started thinking about some people who made great contributions to the world.  People like Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Gaudi, Socrates, etc.  Many people are remembered through history as those that changed the world.  These are the people we want to emulate.

Is it really what they did that is so important?

If Lincoln had never existed does anyone think that slavery would exist today?  If not for Einstein would we still not understand the principles of a relative universe?

These guys were on the cutting edge of a new paradigm, but would the paradigm shift have taken place without them?

I think it would have.

Sure some other leading physicist would have discovered relativity without Einstein, but would he have the hair?  Would he inspire generations with his thoughtful analysis of the ramifications of his discoveries?  Would he exude the childlike wonder for the universe?

I think that’s the real contribution that we make.  Not our achievements.  Not our conquests.  Our real value lies in how we go about our journey.

It’s not what you do.  It’s how you do it.

All Aboard

This weekend was my first time traveling by train. This has been a goal of mine for many years now, so I hopped aboard an Amtrak for a nice little jaunt from Seattle to Vancouver, British Columbia.

There is something very nostalgic about traveling by rail. The laxidasical pace is part of it I guess. You are probably not in a hurry if you are going very far. I found it extremely relaxing watching the hills roll by, while sipping a coffee and listening to the grating of metal on metal wafting from below. Every so often, an air horn reminds you of your present circumstances in case you drift too far away.

You notice the relaxed state of your fellow passengers as well. This stands in stark contrast to the hectic nature of air travel, where everyone is stressed and packed as tightly as possible into a tin can. The fact that you can stand up without bumping your head even if you have the audacity to stand taller than five-five certainly helps as well.

Maybe it is because of the carefree mood, but it’s possible to carry on an enjoyable conversation with your neighbors on a train. And, if you find yourself bored silly, you can always excuse yourself to the dining car to find a more enjoyable colloquy.

Listening can be fun too.

Little English girl to her brother, “Yes, we are going to Seattle. That is where they make all of the coffee.”

So as I publish this blog over the free wi-fi network courtesy of Amtrak (and freely check my voice mail and text messages on my phone) I can’t help but dread my upcoming flight home. For the next few hours, though, I will just sit back and enjoy the scenery.

Moore of the Same

I rarely get really pissed off about politics. I generally find the fascination with how everything works overcomes any anger at their incompetentcy.

I can’t do it this time.

I graduated from the University of South Carolina in 1997. While working I attended the graduate business program and earned a masters degree in business.

During my pursuit for an MBA, Darla Moore contributed $25 million to the business school. Are you kidding me? $25 Million? What did she want? She wanted the business school to be a top school in the world. She saw the potential. It was her alma mater as well, so I understand where she was coming from.

She was appointed to the board of trustees and the business school was subsequently named the Moore School of Business.

It’s not like Ms. Moore was the first woman ever to be featured on the cover of Fortune magazine. Oh yeah...she was. She has plenty of credentials. In 2004 she pledged another $45 million to the school. She also gave $10 million to Clemson University (the bitter rival of her alma mater) in her husband’s name.

Someone as accomplished and well respected who has contributed both her money and her time to the University....how can you repay her?

Throw her off the board and put one of your buddies there.

That is apparently the opinion of Nikki Haley, governor of the state.

South Carolina State Rep. Boyd Brown - (D) Fairfield - issued a statement on Moore's ouster late Tuesday night.

"Like many South Carolinians and USC graduates, I am certainly disappointed in Governor Haley's decision to remove Darla Moore from the USC Board of Trustees, and to replace her with a campaign contributor," Brown said. "Moore has given her finances, time and energy to improve not only her alma mater, but the State of South Carolina. Not only is Governor Haley's action dumb and immature, but it certainly calls her ethics into question.”

I won’t call Nikki’s ethics into question, but her intelligence is definitely lacking. South Carolinians, you deserve better.

Beginnings

I learned from my good friend, Gae, that you can never have a new beginning without loss.

This week I move into my new home. I have rented for five years following my divorce, so this is a pretty exciting time for me. Still, I am aware of the loss of what I currently have.

For one, my rental property affords me the pleasure of hearing the ocean as I write this. My budget does not allow me to purchase such a place (although I can still hear a faint rumbling from several blocks away.)

It made me think of all of the things I will lose by leaving. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to leave. It just means I acknowledge what I have lost. I lost a place that was the first place that I consciously and deliberately chose to move into after my marriage. I lost a place where I got to know my niece while she lived with me for a short time, and a place I got to know a sweetheart for a shorter time. I lost a place where my daughter told me she wanted to move in with me.

All of those things I grieve. I mourn for the things I have lost. As I mourn I look forward to the new adventures that await me.

This makes me happy.

Orange Moon Rising

I watched an orange moon rise on the ocean. I was enveloped in thunderclouds without a drop of rain.

I lost a friend once again, only to discover he was merely briefly (in the grand scheme of things) misplaced.

New friends were met. Old friends were greeted. I was kissed by the ocean and woke with sand in my sheets.

That, my friends, is a good weekend.

Father Knows Best

It is time once again to celebrate the Fathers among us. Yes, those tall people from our childhood who contributed so much to our growth and development. Fathers have a specialized skill set that may seem strange and disturbing to some. Here is a tribute to some of the things Dad does best!

Telling Tall Tales (aka scaring the bejesus out of your kids)

Whether it's the ghost that lives in between the walls, the wookalar that lives in the woods, or convincing your kids they have to parachute out of the commercial jet on which they are traveling. The emotional scars inflicted by your creative genius will last a lifetime.

Teaching the importance of the butterfly bandage

That gash in your knee may appear to need a dozen stitches to your mother, but Dad knows that a little iodine and a butterfly bandage will work wonders. Don't forget that those scars will be a conversation starter one day.

Instilling a sense of sportsmanship

Yes he does a little victory dance when he wins at board games. He performs an impromptu "Who's your daddy" rap when he takes you out on the XBox. He may pout and refuse to acknowledge your existence the first time you manage to one-up him in any competitive endeavor. All this he does for your own edification.

Helping you grow up

"Life's not fair", "Want me to call the wahmbulance?" and "Never trust a women/man who..." may sound harsh at first, but these idioms are classic dad tools designed to assist in your transition to adulthood.

Here's to all of the Fathers out there. Keep up the good work!

My dream for the day after health care reform

So the health care reform bill is now law. I dream of a transformational result.



The dream isn't about health care. It's not about helping those in need. It's not about some political result.

I dream we can stop the fear mongering.

I had hoped we could get beyond it after Obama was elected. We heard for so long about how the world would end if this Muslim president was elected. I thought when he was elected and the sun kept rising in the morning that people would begin to realize they are being manipulated.

There are those that have a big interest in these types of events. They stand to win or lose a lot of money or power as a result of them. The people are different depending on the issue, but they have all been doing the same thing to us.

They have been trying to scare us into doing what is in their best interest.

Now health care reform has passed. I think it will do some good. What I know it won't do is end the world as we know it.

My dream is that the next time we have an issue that needs to be addressed that we won't listen to the fear mongers when they come at us. I dream that we can discuss our differences of opinion without believing that the other side is evil or stupid and will irreparably harm us if our side loses.

A guy can dream.

The Truth About Socialized Medicine

Big government is here, and they are coming for your health care this time. The time-honored principles upon which this country was founded are under assault. Let's look at what this so-called "Health Care Reform" bill would actually do.

Insurers would be required to provide coverage for non-dependent children up to age 26.

Insurance companies are people, too. That's what the Supreme Court ruled. The government has no right to put these kinds of mandates on people. Recent college graduates need to either pony up for their own policy or do without. If they happen to develop a serious illness while uninsured it serves them right. Health care is a privilege not a right.

Total out-of-pocket expenses would be limited, and insurance companies would be prevented from denying coverage for pre-existing conditions. Insurers would be barred from canceling coverage for sick people, as well as charging higher premiums based on a person's gender or medical history.

Insurance companies should be able to deny coverage to whomever they wish. If they can't then just any sick person is going to be able to have coverage regardless of their financial status. This is blatantly anti-American.

We can't just treat everyone. Priority should be given to those of wealth and status. After all, our founding fathers didn't give equal rights to slaves. Why should we treat sick poor people the same as we treat sick wealthy people? These wealthy people have earned the right to be treated. If poor people want the same level of care they need to get off of their lazy asses and get a job.

A 40 percent tax would be imposed on insurance companies providing "Cadillac" health plans valued at more than $10,200 for individuals and $27,500 for families. The tax would kick in starting in 2018.

This is perhaps the most troubling aspect of this "reform". People with high income levels are going to be restricted from having "Cadillac" plans. What does this really mean?

What it means is doctors and hospitals are going to be forced to treat patients based on the severity of their condition and not based on their wealth. I don't know if I can live in a country like that.

We all know that the life and health of a crack baby is not nearly as valuable as that of a wealthy business executive. We are now going to make the wealthy business person with joint pain wait in line behind the welfare mother with a heart condition. This is simply not right.

There are many other aspects of the bill that I can't cover here due to the massive size of the legislation. They are all equally troubling and follow the same pattern. Insurance companies are literally not going to be able to dump people when they get sick, and they are not going to be able to deny them coverage if they are a risky bet.

The tea party activists have it right. Just like our founding fathers protested against taxation without representation they are protesting against medical treatment without consideration of class, age, wealth, health, or status.

What a noble cause.

Irish Eyes are Smiling

So, St. Patty’s Day is upon us again. Normally, I spend this holiday in a drunken stupor, which I’ve come to realize is not a great tribute to the fine traditions of Ireland. To make up for all of those years that I’ve stumbled from bar to bar singing off-key the wrong words to Irish drinking songs I’ve decided to post a tribute to my Irish brethren. Here are some of my favorites of all things Irish.

Denis Leary

You’ve got to love Denis Leary. I crack up just looking at him. Here’s what he said about his religious beliefs.

“I`m a lapsed catholic in the best sense of the word… My parents, you know, prayed all the time, took us to mass. And my father would sometimes swear in Gaelic. It doesn`t get more religious than that.”

Kiss Me I’m Irish Shirts

Best marketing campaign ever! Beautiful women begging to be kissed? Are you kidding me? Whenever I see a chick wearing this shirt I lay one on her. Glorious tradition.

The Lucky Charms Guy

Whenever I see this little dude I just want to dance a jig. I’m sure the Irish get sick of him, but c’mon. He’s the lucky charms dude.

Grace Kelly

If I need to explain this one to you…well, I can’t help you.

Guinness

So we’ve made it back full circle, and as always we seem to end on alcohol. Now that I think about it, stumbling from bar to bar singing Irish drinking songs is really a compliment to the culture. Let’s face it. Without all of the booze most people wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about St. Patricks day. So, raise your glasses my friends and repeat after me.

Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint– and another one!

I love St. Patty’s day.

I caused the financial crisis!

I have something that I need to get off my chest. You’ve heard lots of explanations for how we got into this financial crisis. Subprime mortgages, credit default swaps, housing bubbles, blah, blah, blah.

It was me. I caused the financial crisis.

​

How did I cause the financial crisis you might ask? Here’s the deal. Banks kept giving me money, and trust me I know how to spend money. Not only did they give me money, but they didn’t even ask a whole lot of questions about how I was going to manage to pay it back.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I need supervision. I can dream up all kinds of cool stuff, but I have to be reigned in from time to time. I have been known to put together vast and elegant solutions that are wholly impractical.

So there you have it. It was me. I did it, and you’d better watch out...because I’ll do it again.

Roundabouts...they're not for everybody

A big part of my ramblings are devoted to educating those ignorant fools out there who just don’t get it. Just one of the many ways that I give back to my community.

Today’s public service announcement is devoted to roundabouts.


You know what a roundabout is, right? It’s an intersection (usually four ways) where all points of entry yield to one another.

The operative word here folks is YIELD. A roundabout is not a four-way stop!

I feel certain that I am going to witness or participate in a stabbing, shooting, strangling or some other act of violence caused by this fundamental lack of understanding.

If you have any further questions on how this complex traffic pattern operates please feel free to ask. I will be waiting my turn in the roundabout behind grandma.

It’s a whole nother thing

I’m not a huge stickler about using proper grammar.  I’m really not.  I have been known to occasionally split an infinitive.  Ending a sentence with a preposition isn’t something that I get angry at. 

Considering my lackadaisical attitude toward grammar my writings might even contain a dangling participle or two.

Can we draw the line at inserting a modifier into the middle of a word?

If not, I would like to suggest some equally descriptive phrases.

a wow stonishing

a loud nnouncement

the great saurus

a flat bdomen (the b is silent)

Feel free to use these new phrases in ordinary conversation.  People might think you’re weird, but that’s a whole nother issue.

The future is now

Remember when we were kids and we watched the futuristic shows on TV?  I was so excited for the time when we had the conveyor belts that dressed you in the morning like in the Jetsons.  The flying cars and hoverboards were awesome too.

 

I was traveling to California this week, and I noticed quite a few areas where we just have not lived up to the Jetson/Star Trek/Back to the Future standard.

Elevators

They don’t zoom you around.  They don’t make cool whooshing noises when the doors open and close.  You can’t even turn off a button once you press it.  How advanced does your technology need to be in order to allow deselecting a floor?

 

Lines

I really thought that in the future we could eliminate waiting in line.  I don’t know why I assumed this, except that waiting blows.

 

Airplanes

I don’t know exactly how this should be handled, but I’m pretty sure the way we fly around is fucked up.  Do we really need to take up cabin space with overhead bags?  Is there not some way that we could arrange to give enough leg room that those of us over 5 feet tall don’t get deep vein thrombosis?  I also thought by now we would all be debarking by way of trap door in the floor.

 

Road travel

Even when we try to apply modern technology we screw it up.  I’m sitting at a ramp to get on the freeway, and I’m waiting on this traffic light.  (Sorry Californians, but we don’t have these in Florida.)  The light goes from red to green to red like a blinker allowing one car through at a time.  Think about this for a minute.  Does this technological advancement remind you of anything?  It’s called a stop sign.  If only we could come up with a device that allows a free flow of traffic where one lane yields to another…

As I was trying to charge my iPhone in my rental car (unsuccessfully because the port was made for an iPod) I came to this sobering conclusion.  The future is never coming.  Sorry folks.  I’m pretty sure that future technology is going to be geared around erections, boobs, fast food, and Paris Hilton.  I was really looking forward to that transporter too.

2009 Year in Review

Well, friends, another year is almost in the tank. I would like to thank my good friends Mr. Daniels and Mr. Bombay for their help throughout the year. They have provided valuable insight into life, love, and happiness as always.

Now we again come to that special time when friends come together for the most time-honored tradition; getting plowed and making promises. You can almost feel the good will building as the clock ticks its way down to midnight. The euphoria builds to a crescendo as the new year crashes in and you kiss the prettiest girl you can reach.

Then the hangover sets in.

Before we get to all of that though I thought I would reflect on my 2009 experience. It was wild. It was wacky. Let's reflect, shall we?

Moved to the Beach



Yes friends it may seem like I've lived here all my life, but I moved to my beachside cabana in February of 2009. Best move ever!


Had a luau (AKA: AdamFest 2009)



How can you live at the beach and not have a luau. Oh, and I now have a ukulele that I will be strumming at next year's event. It's gonna be sweet!


Another road trip



This time it was my boy and me on the open road. We braved the swamps of Louisiana, the cornfields of Kansas, and the Wal-Mart shoppers of Arkansas, but we made to Sioux City, Iowa to see the Counting Crows.


Changed Jobs (again)



I did such a great job with my promotion last year that they...um...well, they asked me to go back to doing my old job. Just keep the paychecks coming, brothers.


Finally got to use that "In a relationship" status on Facebook



What can I say? I'm smitten.

Happy New Year to you all, my friends. I look forward to sharing many adventures in 2010. Let's get started!

I’m Just Sayin’

Few phrases make my skin crawl as much as the ever popular “I’m Just Sayin’.” Maybe this isn’t a new term, but it seems like I’m seeing it more and more lately.

What the fuck does this mean?

I realize that you’re just saying whatever it is you’re saying. I never thought you were also performing an interpretive dance.

I guess what your are really trying to say is “Don’t hold me responsible for anything I said, because I’m just running my mouth.” Kind of like “with all due respect.”

As in “With all due respect, you’re a real douchebag.”

So, CNN is even getting into it. That should be your cue folks to drop this phrase from your repertoire. Jon Stewart says it better than I ever could.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
CNN's Just Sayin'
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Please people. You are taking years off of my life with every utterance of this phrase. I want to poke out my eyes every time I read it. I have a nearly uncontrollable urge to stick a pair of cockroaches in my ears every time I hear it. End the madness!

I’m just sayin’.

It’s all about me!

So today is my birthday, and what better reason is there to blather incoherently?

Today’s rambling is devoted to my new idea for birthdays.  I will warn you that I have expressed this opinion to many, and all without exception have found it to be completely without merit.

What else is new?

So it seems to me that one of my friends is always having a birthday.  You have to get a gift, organize a party, give a speech, etc.

I think that the birthday responsibilities should lie with the person who is celebrating the birthday.

Think about it.  One day a year you have to worry about birthday celebrations.  That’s it!

You throw yourself a party, get a cake, buy yourself gifts, and invite all of your friends to watch you open them!  You get exactly what you want, and your friends don’t have to go to any trouble.  They just show up and have a good time.

It’s a brave new world people.  Let’s turn it upside down!

Here’s to you!

I just thought I’d give a shout out to those people who have made my life more interesting lately.  You have gone above and beyond in contributing to the epic story of my wanderings on this planet.

 Guy who took my shampoo and conditioner from the gym

You could have left it in the shower.  You could have taken it to lost and found.  You could have put it in a locker.  Yet you decided to take my shampoo and conditioner home with you to save a few bucks.  Way to go.

Guy who always thinks I’m hitting on his girlfriend

OK.  Maybe I was hitting on her the first time.  Now I do it just to watch you get all riled up.  It entertains me.

Chick whose name I can’t remember

You know who you are.

Am I in line here?

I admit it. I bust in line. I do it in traffic. I do it at the movies. I’ve been known to do it at wedding receptions.

That doesn’t make it right. I expect to be chastised if caught.

What really irks me is when cutting in line is completely tolerated by businesses (and the person cutting is not me.) Here are two types of cutting that are completely acceptable in most stores.

Phone cutting

Have you ever been waiting at a customer service desk to talk to someone in a long, slow-moving line? Maybe you just need to ask a question about a return. Then the phone rings behind the desk. What does the person working the desk do? Of course, they pick up the phone and help solve the caller’s problem.

I’m going to try to call from my cell while waiting in line next time. Is that phone caller really more important than us schmucks standing in front of you?

Drive through cutting

I’m in Starbucks the other day with my kids. We are the only people in Starbucks. As I am waiting for my order I watch the drive through window. People are speeding through there like it’s the freeway!

What the hell? Just because you’re in a car you deserve preferential treatment? She’s slinging lattes out the window like she’s working a pit crew.

Please people, let’s get this straightened out. I, for one, do not want to live in a world where cutters like me are accepted. It’s a matter of principle!